Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found throughout studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" this it only takes five minutes for him to predict--together with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious marks of a troubled relationship this he looks for, utilizing sometimes amusing passages from his sessions together with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't recognize the name of the family dog for the reason that he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths concerning divorce (primary among them this affairs are at the root of much splits). He in addition reveals surprising facts concerning couples who stay mutually. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve each problem. "Get Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset together with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' concerning their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found this they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly this "they are together very satisfied together with their relationship and they love every other deeply."
Throughout a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman offers the framework for coping together with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (counting this of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen